Feherty's Mailbag

Feherty’s Mailbag

If you’ve ever wanted to send David Feherty a question or comment, here’s your chance! David is putting down his mike to answer your E-mails in his mailbag column for GOLFONLINE.

Click here to send him your best question or comment.

Most of your viewers probably don’t realize what a talented player you were in your prime. I used to be a GP in Scotland and had the pleasure of watching you play in the Scottish Open one year. Anyway, the reason for writing to you was that you had this beautiful pair of pants on that day, I think they were some kind of Italian silk. Since you have gained a few pounds since then, i wondered if you could send them to me?
— Dr. Garry Henderson, Vancouver, British Columbia

I love a doctor so humble he uses the lower case “i” to describe himself. It seems you cleverly avoided whether you are still practicing medicine in Canada after apparently being drummed out of the UK Medical Association (used to be a GP?). Know what they call the man who graduated last in his medical class? Doctor. It’s no surprise to me that a man who occupies his time investigating my trousers has lost his license to practice medicine. In answer to your request, I lost those pants in a game of strip-poker with McCord, who subsequently auctioned them off at an Irritable Bowel Syndrome charity event. Had you ever had the occasion to view the interior of those pants, you would not have made so risky a request.

I was just writing to ask about the funniest practical joke you have played on McCord and the funniest he has ever played on you.
— Sam Kestin, Los Angeles, CA

I charge $30,000 for a gig where I expose that kind of inside stuff. Tell you what, send me a check for say, $10,000, and I’ll send you a reply.

I don’t have a question, just a compliment. My fraternity brothers and I play Tiger Woods Golf all the time, and we think your just hilarious. We bought TW 2004 just to hear the new things you’d say. “THE CHICKEN STICK!!!!”
— Andy A., Cincy, Ohio

Perfect; I’m a Cyber-hit with a bunch of campus nerds who are supposed to be studying quantum physics. That’s the demographic I was going for. When do you idiots start running the country?

I greatly enjoyed your piece on Payne Stewart in the October edition of GOLF MAGAZINE. Thank you for authoring it as a remembrance to Payne in lieu of other storylines that could also have been done. Among equipment intros, tips, techniques, tourney results, etc., it was a nice to read through (several times). Well done.
— Steve Devaney, Manchester, MA

Thanks Steve, I miss him. I hope he’s somewhere nice, laughing at us.

I just took up golf less than a year ago. How can I make a decision on which golf clubs to buy? Please help.
— Erasmo Medina, London, Canada

Mind if I call you Mo? Good lord, what were your parents thinking when they came up with Erasmo? Buy cavity-backed, investment-cast irons and the biggest headed woods you can find. Don’t spend much since no one will want to play with you if they have to say, “Hey, Erasmo, what’d you have on that last hole?”

Who’s your favorite Irish poet?
— Gray Kochhar-Lindgren, Mt Pleasant, MI

Why do you have so many names? Wasn’t one last name good enough for you? You needed more? You’re probably one of those guys who, even after seeing the big flashing arrow in a construction zone, zooms up to the front, then tries to squeeze in front of someone who’s been patiently waiting because, well, after all, your time is more valuable than…oh, my favorite poet…sorry. WB Yeats of course, or Sinead O’Connor. I could listen to her all day. Bald women get my Irish blood boiling. Sometimes late at night when the kids are asleep I stoke up the fire, slip a finger or two of Bushmills into a Waterford snifter and snuggle up under the comforter with a tome of her poetry and revel in one of her good old nun-bashing rants. It helps if I have a CD of Insane Clown Posse playing in the background.

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