Feherty’s Mailbag

If you’ve ever wanted to send David Feherty a question or comment, here’s your chance! David is putting down his mike to answer your E-mails in his mailbag column for GOLFONLINE.

Click here to send him your best question or comment. (Note: Letters may be edited for clarity and length).

I thought Michael Campbell was one of those infuriating hot and cold could-be golf geniuses who kept us tantalized with his talent. But after reading some of the sages of the American press (and listening to Johnny Miller on television), whose knowledge of world golf is so profound, I’ve realized he’s just a no-talent bum who had his 15 minutes of fame at Pinehurst, is bad for American golf and we’ll never hear from him again. As a good Texan, it must be tempting for you to stick the spurs in as well.
Tom, Victoria, Australia

Michael Campbell might have surprised you by winning the U.S. Open, but more importantly, he surprised himself. Maybe he just found out how good he is, who knows? By the way, he finished in the top 10 at St. Andrew’s. And the way I read it, that was a very nasty thing to say about Johnny. For the record, his 15 minutes of fame was in 1973, and I think we’ll be hearing from him plenty.

A colleague asked recently what sport I was into. Golf. I asked about a sport he scoffed. He admitted to never have tried golf (except mini-golf, ha!), but there was no way to convince him that an activity not involving a team of running, jumping, sweaty men chasing a ball “in motion” could be considered a real sport. I figured the guy was a bonehead, anyway, but have found myself since, searching for a short, insulting and yet convincing answer that would wipe off the smirk from the golfomus ignoramus bonehead face. I know you are the best man for the job. Please, do provide one.
— Thanks, Vladimir

Clearly, English is not your first language so winning an argument with this moron might be difficult. But I’ll have a go for you. Tell this nimrod to go down to the local range and hit 100 balls. He’ll have so many blisters on his hands afterwards that he won’t be able to have sex with himself, which is probably the only sport at which he’s any f–king good. I’ve changed my mind. You win.

About three months ago you wrote about “a better game by chemistry.” I’m 35 years old and recently was diagnosed with ADD. As I started taking some medication my golf game improved dramatically, obviously as a result of better concentration. I know Mark O’Meara went through the same situation in 1998 when he won both the Masters and the British Open. Is there any more material about this subject, more evidence of medication as a game improvement tool, are there more pros on the tour with ADD?
— Guillermo Ariza, Caracas, Venezuela

Hey I know you’re in Venezuela, but stop chewing the leaves. Payne Stewart was the best ADD player I ever knew, and I’ve always suspected Jesper Parnevik. And if there actually were meds that helped, I’d have mules out selling dime bags.

Sir, what do they mean when they say “his swing was over the top”? Also explain the reverse V — and how long do you hold it or release it? Thank you.
–Michael Ward

Don’t call me Sir, you disingenuous fartwit. I have no idea what anyone is talking about when it comes to the golf swing. I just make this crap up. And the only person I ever knew who had a reverse V was a girl on our 11th grade field hockey team, and I never got to hold it.

Do you really believe the hype regarding the new low spin golf balls? Is it really going to help my game by dropping $50 on Nike’s newest release?
— JB

JB and a splash of water:

You might as well drop $50 into the nearest lake. That’s where the balls will end up anyway.

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