In your new book Alice Cooper, Golf Monster, you write about trading booze for golf.
I'm from Detroit, where we have three sports: baseball, football and grand theft auto. We would beat up guys who played golf. But when I quit drinking in the early '80s, golf became my addiction. I'd play 36 a day, then go hit 600 balls! I went from a 36 handicap to a 9.

So Betty Ford should offer lessons?
Actually, that would be smart. I know a lot of guys who've traded alcohol for golf.

You ever play with John Daly?
A lot. I've told him, "Your problem isn't drinking — it's that every time you get drunk, you get married." (Laughs.) He says, " You're right! I have a commitment problem. I get too committed."

What was your drink of choice?
It used to be a couple shots of VO, a case of Bud, and a halfbottle of Seagram's. But now? Just a Diet Coke with tons of ice.

You sang Welcome to My Nightmare. What's your golf nightmare?
It's not the shank — it's the shot after the shank. I got crazy with it for four days once and almost went insane. Also, I have a dream where I'm trying to hit a ball in a confined area, but I can't get a full backswing. Horrifying.

The man who brought electric chairs and boa constrictors to rock dreams about his backswing?
Wait, you know what's scarier? When you get a song you hate stuck in your head. I'll be 1-under with three to play, ready to hit, and I hear, " You, you light up my life! You give me hope, to carry on..." Where did that come from? Gruesome!