1. Inbee Park. Bust out the hairspray and cue Kip Winger: She's only 19, but she'll show you pars like you've never seen.
2. Kenny Perry. I guess he knew what he was doing by blowing off the U.S. Open.
3. Tiger's right hammy. By donating a tendon to help the rebuilding of the left knee, Woods's hamstring will do more for the health of the PGA Tour than a dozen Kenny Perry victories.
4. Pablo Larrazabal. Great win in France for the Spanish rookie, and his celebratory dive into the lake or, rather, his being pushed in by friends was one for the highlight reels. Remember when Sergio radiated this much duende?
5. Golf scribes everywhere. With his runner-up finish in France, Colin Montgomerie is now in great shape to make the Ryder Cup team, ensuring endless good copy. I have dibs on the use of 'catfight'!
1. Paula Creamer. First she blows the U.S. Women's Open and then she's treated like a pinata in Press Tent. The indignities never end.
2. Woody Austin. The Woodman bogeyed the final two holes at the Buick to finish one stroke back. Luckily, there's no water hazard on Warwick Hills's 18th, or else he might have made like Larrazabal...but never resurfaced.
3. Bubba. Still winless despite all the hype, Mr. Watson had a 15-footer on the 72nd hole to tie Kenny Perry but couldn't convert it. Drive for show...
4. Michelle Wie. Just when it seemed like she was piecing her game back together she blew up at the Women's Open, including an embarrassing 9 in the first round. Q School here she comes!
5. Tour Cassandras. This week marks the beginning of drug testing on the PGA Tour, and last time I checked, golf as we know it has not come to an end. If you want to be a big-time athlete, peeing into a cup is the price you pay.