Feherty's mailbag

If you've ever wanted to send David Feherty a question or comment, here's your chance! David is putting down his mike to answer your E-mails in his mailbag column for GOLFONLINE.

Click here to send him a question or comment. But consider yourself warned -- he's golf's ultimate wise guy!

A group of us from Philly are headed to Ireland (both the Republic and the North) next summer. I was wondering if you might give us the names of some of your favorite lesser-known golf courses, as well as some of your favorite pubs over there.
-- Randall, Philadelphia

I'm delighted to hear you're going to both the north and the south on your golf trip to Ireland, but remember not to use such terms when trying to communicate with the natives. When asking for directions, (and you will) stick with left, right, up, and down. That way no one's head will explode. Remember, if the Irish had a sense of direction, we would all live in Philadelphia.

In the top right, in the same corner as Royal Portrush, you'll find Portstewart, Castlerock, and Ballycastle, three fun little links courses, which are less expensive and very good. If you play Royal Portrush, don't overlook the Valley course, which might be the best par 69 in the country. It's spectacularly designed, and proof that the average sheep was at least as good as Donald Ross.

From there, drive around the top coast (note the absence of the word "north") and over the border into Donegal, and you're in the place God made on the eighth day, after he'd kicked back and had a few cocktails. You might not want to play at all, but if you do, look for the nearest original decrepit pub front with a chalk board and one-eyed, apparently dead Border collie outside, order a pint of Guinness, and ask for directions to Rosapenna, Narin & Portnoo, or Philly. It won't make any difference, no one will know where any of them is located.

The only thing more entertaining than you and McCord would be you, McCord and Ben Wright. Please don't duck this as other golf writers have. Give us your perspective on bringing back Mr. Wright.
-- Bill Edmondson, Venice, FL

I can never understand why Marv Albert is working, and Ben Wright is not. I'd love to see Wright back, as long as he doesn't get his old job, because I have it at the moment. I was hired because he was fired.

I don't understand why women amateurs try to compete on the PGA Tour if the LPGA is available to them. Can a male amateur try to compete on the LPGA?
-- John Almond, Austin, TX

Dear God, what have you been smoking? Last time I checked, it wasn't amateurs, but a couple of woman pros who are thinking of playing a PGA Tour event. Believe me, they'll find it hard enough. As for the possibility of a man playing on the LPGA, they have a rule which states that in order to compete, a player must be born female, which, while it leaves the door open for McCord, rules the rest of us out.

Three years ago I started curling (Olympic winter sport) during the winter months here in Chicago. I find this game very stimulating physically and mentally. Since playing this game my golf scores have become very consistent. Do you know any Tour players who curl?
-- Dle Watkins, Chicago

Dle, (that can't be your name, and if it is, you need to swap it for a number or something) I know a bunch of golfers who do the old 12-ounce curl, but no rock-shovers. I love it though. Grown men yelling at a large stone, great stuff.

After Ernie Els' complete thrashing of the Kapalua Plantation Course, I just wanted to get your opinion on whether or not this is something you think might continue. Is there a limit to the benefits of better technology and/or better players? Will someone eventually break 60 consistently, or even break 50, and better yet, will someone ever score an 18? (And no, not in mini-golf) Or will scores start to level off after a while? Thank you in advance for your enlightening wisdom.
-- Brendan S., Shrewsbury, MA

I think it's inevitable that someone will eventually achieve the total consciousness which so far (to the best of my knowledge) only I possess. Yes, I have discovered how to shoot nothing at all, by not playing at all. That is all, you either get it or you don't.

Is a snow bank considered standing or casual water and are you able to take relief?
-- Steve Weitzman, Corvallis, OR

Steve, Steve, Steve, a snow bank is usually considered to be an indicator that it's too frigging cold to play golf. It's only casual water if it's yellow.

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