Word Play: Golf in terms of the economy

Word Play: Golf in terms of the economy

It’s true, the cable networks and newspapers are filled with scary headlines written in jargon that has come to symbolize the depressing reality of our economic state. But it doesn’t have to be so. Take those same terms, process them through the SI Golf Plus Vocabulary Converter, and suddenly they’re not so frightening anymore.

Bailout Putting a seven-wood in the bag

Boom-and-bust cycle Three-hundred-yard drives followed by bladed wedges

Credit crisis When your opponent forces you to hole out a 12-inch gimme. Also known as “credit crunch” or “credit squeeze”

Defaults All de things de matter with de swing

Derivative Adam Scott’s swing compared with Tiger Woods’s circa 2001

Discretionary income What you’re no longer spending in the pro shop

Foreclosure The sense of completeness a player feels after pushing his drive onto the next fairway and screaming, “Fore!”

Liquidity trap Water hazard

Moral hazard Mulligan

Mortgage-backed security Betting the house that Tiger will win another major

Nationalization A private club adding National to the end of its name in hopes of attracting status-seeking new members

Negative equity Upon departing the golf shop, the $299 value of the driver you just bought for $399

Ponzi scheme “I’ll buy the next round.”

Repossession Trying to calm down after a four-putt double bogey

Short squeeze Gripping the putter too tightly while standing over a three-footer

Subprime crisis Heading into the club championship without your A game

Toxic assets Your old golf shoes

Zombie bank Five down with four to play and not enough cash to pay off the $2 Nassau

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