1. Pato. Someday this Cabrera character will be a vexing question for the reconstituted Hall of Fame. With his talent he probably should have won more, but the Augusta-Oakmont double-dip is all-world, and he gets bonus points for such a badass. Also: Monty is already in, so there’s that.
2. G-Mac. Yeah, he dresses like a dandy, but there’s not a grittier player on the planet. How do you come from 8 back on Sunday to win? It begins with a belief that such a thing is possible.
3. George McNeil. Golf is not life, but his closing 61 at the Greenbrier was a touching monument to his dying sister.
4. Tiger. He and Federer are supposed to be pals, but you just know that deep down Woods was rooting against the Fed at Wimbledon because he doesn’t want him to get to 18 majors. #Jack
5. The LPGA. I was so bored last week not being able to watch golf’s most exciting tour. Hurry back, ladies.
2. The Ice Bucket Challenge. I will personally drown a baby seal in said bucket if the world’s golf pros will please cease and desist in this inanity.
3. Billy Hurley III. Six bogeys in the first 15 holes on Sunday on the Tour's easiest course proved this officer and gentleman is not quite ready for the big-time.
4. The Match Play Championship. For the sake of TV, the Tour suits have watered down the format, destroying the Darwinian excitement in favor of round-robin play in which losing a match is no longer that big a deal. Even replacing Tucson with San Francisco is not enough to buy my affections.
5. The Dufners’ vacation. As a professional golf writer I was compelled to examine Amanda’s swing in forensic detail to analyze how a bikini can affect certain mechanics, but, really, is this endless photofest worthy of being on the homepage of every golf website in existence?