The Midnight Rider

Gather my children and listen quietly
And hear the story of Midnight Feherty

Brother David well he liked his booze
And it was whiskey and beer he would choose
But one day clear he saw the light
And dumped the rum and he was right

He traded one obsession for another
And off he went, our famous brother

Biking like a man possessed
He’d pedal till his ass abscessed
His nads were swollen, his back it ached
The better the route, the more it snaked

One day a Dallas landscape guy
Shanked our lad on a road nearby

Sent him airborne heels over head
A dog walking lady thought he was dead
When he came to she was holding his hand
His head was swimming to beat the band

Almost as if by chance
Driving nearby was an ambulance

They scooped him up and put him on a litter
Rushed him to Baylor all a twitter
They scoped him and poked him and put him under
His elbow wrecked, tendons asunder

But our man recovered, he’s on the mend
But mentally he’s round the bend

If past is prelude and this no exception
Our Midnight Rider eschews introspection
Off he’ll ride in the predawn dark
Only to crash in some lonely park

Joints will be ruined and blood will be spilled
Stitches applied and insurance billed

Our Midnight Rider pursues his quest
While the rest of us do clutch our breast
And wait with breathless anticipation
For news of his latest annihilation