Do you ever channel Sipowicz on the golf course? I’m pretty relaxed now. Don’t be mistaken: I can still get angry, but I don’t kick the heads off sprinklers any more.
But you had anger issues? Oh yeah. One time in Malibu this group was hitting into us. It was getting to me, so I wait until they’re on this [nearby] par 3 and, right in one guy’s backswing, I yell as loud as I can — and he shanks it! He jumps in his cart and races at me, whirling and swinging his club like a madman. He looked like a windmill with feet, so I stick my club up in the air to swordfight this guy. His buddies finally subdued him, but he broke my little finger, which still has a little crook in it.
Wow, it’s a shame you didn’t have your Taser gun. OK, we have to ask: What’s scarier — a slick five-footer, or getting naked on camera? The five-footer, by far! [Laughs] I’ll drop my pants at the drop of a hat.
What’s your favorite course? The Old Course. The caddies have great personalities. A friend of mine was so nervous on the first tee there that he hooked his ball way left. He turns to his guy and says, “What do you call mulligans here in Scotland?” And the caddie says, “Laddie, we call them ‘hitting three.'”