Since The Masters, I’ve broadcast 17 of the last 20 weeks for CBS and, although I go to Canada this week to do the telecast for CTV, I feel as if someone just let the air out of me. Maybe it has something to do with the start of the football season, but almost overnight I’ve turned into a sofa spud! It happened without me even noticing — one minute I was out running, and the next I was prostrate on the couch with a six pack and a bowl of bean dip between me and the TV. Every now and then a ghastly bodily emission drowned out the dulcet tones of Sir Nantzalot. Whoa! Davey me boy!
You see, I am a creature of habits, some of which are pretty damned appalling, but in my own defense, that’s what can happen to you if you spend you entire adult life traveling around the world almost entirely in the company of men. I’ve gone from the playground, to the locker room, to the studio, and frankly my behavior has been similar in all three areas.
Someone once said to me, “By the time you are 40 you will have the face you deserve.” Well, so far my face has worn out three bodies, and it’s well into the fourth, so this winter, if it ever arrives in Texas, I’ve decided that things will be different. I refuse to descend into my customary off-season sedentary habits, which in the past have turned me into a bulging, flatulent slug by the end of January. This winter I’m going places.
Next month I’m off with the wife, and our brand new wiggly little piglet, to Scotland and Ireland, where I shall keep a diary which I will share with you. I imagine you can hardly wait. Then in November, I return to competitive golf for the first time in two years when I will swat my coconut around the windswept links of Kapalua in an attempt to finish leading announcer. Alas McCord, the evil swine, has similar plans. In December, the CBS golf crew heads down under to Melbourne for the Presidents Cup. I didn’t know he wore one.
This will all but take us to Christmas and the impending 1999 season. As always I will stick to the only New Year’s resolution I ever made, way back in the ’70s, which was of course, never ever to make another New Year’s resolution. In the meantime, I’ll be jogging between the sofa and the refrigerator.