Funniest Pro Golfers

1 of 9 David Cannon/Getty Images
Tiger Woods He tries to hide it, but Tiger (shown here at the Dubai Desert Classic with Lt. Col. Michael Rowells of the 401st United States Army Field Support Brigade) has always had a sense of humor, sharing fart jokes with David Feherty and checking into hotel rooms under the name "Eric Cartman." Here's a classic Tiger joke which Feherty recounted in the April 2006 issue of Golf Magazine: Tiger: "What do you call a black guy flying an airplane?" Feherty: "Umm, I don't know." Tiger: "A pilot, you f---ing racist."
2 of 9 Phil Coale/AP
Paul Goydos His friends call him "Sunshine," an ironic nod to his self-deprecating, sad sack persona. You have to look closely to see the twinkle in his eye as he delivers deadpan one-liners like these exchanges with NBC Sports' Bob Costas at the 2008 Players Championship: Bob Costas: "Ever had a 54-hole lead before?" Paul Goydos: "No, but I've only been on Tour for 16 years." Costas: "What were you thinking on the tee on the island hole?" Goydos: "Land." Costas: "How'd you sleep last night?" Goydos: "On my back."
3 of 9 Walter Iooss Jr./SI
Lee Trevino The Merry Mex proves the axiom that the best comedy comes from the darkest places. The life of the party on the course, Trevino was a brooder off it. However, when Trevino was on, he was funny in a way that no other golfer has been before or since. Here's a sample: On Golf: "If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron." "You can talk to a fade, but a hook won't listen." On Love: "My wife doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I don't have a good time." "You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives." On Aging: "The older I get the better I used to be!" "I'm in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible."
4 of 9 Ryan Pierse/Getty Images
Stuart Appleby Asked once what he needed to shoot to win a tournament, Appleby replied, "Tiger Woods."
5 of 9 Glyn Kirk/Getty Images
Tom Watson In the 1990s, Jack Nicklaus was worried that Fat Jack was coming back, so he went on a cabbage soup diet to shed some pounds. Asked about it, Watson replied dryly, "I wouldn't want to be playing behind him."
6 of 9 LARRY W. SMITH/AP
Peter Jacobsen You know that Frank guy on TBS who can imitate almost any celebrity? Well, Jacobsen is that way with golf swings. Watch his Arnold Palmer swing here.
7 of 9 SAEED KHAN/Getty Images
Ben Crane Crane was known on Tour for being a nice player and a nice guy, if a slow-playing one. So we were surprised when he showed up on YouTube as a cross between In Living Color-era Jim Carrey and Moby in these pre-round routine and workout videos. "If you have something bottled up inside you, go straight to the snake shaker." Indeed.
8 of 9 Scott Halleran/Getty Images
Phil Mickelson Mickelson loves a good practical joke. Here's one he pulled on caddie Bones Mackay, as told by Golf Magazine senior writer Cameron Morfit: Jim (Bones) Mackay was inching along a crowded parking lot at the 1997 U.S. Open at Congressional when one oblivious patron suddenly walked smack into the front of the caddie's car. Phil Mickelson, sitting in the passenger seat, decided to play up the incident as if his looper had run over the hapless spectator. Phil summoned his security detail, who were following along behind, and had them call a few of their fellow men in blue, who with straight faces made a big show as if to take Mackay downtown. "They were going to book him for a hit and run," Mickelson says, laughing. "This was like 30 minutes before we were going to tee off. Jim just went with the whole thing. He's very good about letting me play my jokes and stuff, which I like to do." Mackay went along with the joke because he thought it wasn't a joke; Bones thought he was really in trouble. "There were a couple of very uncomfortable minutes on the range," he says.
9 of 9 Michael Clifton/USO Tour
David Feherty The quick-witted Feherty, who provides on-course commentary for CBS Sports and contributes a monthly column to Golf Magazine, proves that sports broadcasting doesn't have to be a humor-free zone. Here are a few of his best lines: On Jim Furyk's swing: "He looks like a man trying to kill a snake in a phone booth." On Nick Faldo: "The only time he opens his mouth is to change his feet." On Tiger Woods's greatest shots: "Never has my flabber been so completely gasted." On the air, after an errant shot dented a coconut: "I'm here holding Loren Roberts' bruised nut."