Masters 2019: It’s not perfect! Here are 9 (slightly) overrated things about the Masters

April 10, 2019

To ardent golf fans, the home of the Masters is sacred. But you know how it goes in this era of scalding hot takes: someone’s got to play the role of Augusta National grinch. In the spirit of contrarians everywhere, here are nine overrated things about the Masters and the hallowed ground upon which it’s played.

1. The concession prices
Don’t get us wrong — we love that the tournament doesn’t gouge its guests. But at what culinary cost? We can’t help but think if the club charged, say, $3 for a blueberry muffin (instead of a buck) or $5 for a barbecue sandwich (instead of $3), the Masters eating experience could be elevated from meh to memorable. Which leads us to…

2. The Pimento Cheese Sandwich
It costs a mere $1.50, and you get what you pay for: a flavorless mass of sandwich-shaped glue.

3. The Butler Cabin Ceremony
Congratulations, you just won the Masters. In honor of your historic achievement, we shall now subject you to an interview as wooden as the cabin in which you sit.

4. The Course Itself
Blasphemy, you say? Perhaps. But if you’re looking for evidence of how a rarefied reputation can influence architectural rankings, look no further than Augusta National, which stands at No. 5 on GOLF Magazine’s List of Top 100 Courses in the World. That’s six notches ahead of Royal Melbourne (West); 17 ahead of Los Angeles Country Club (North) and 26 ahead of Sunningdale (Old), to name just a few equal-to-superior designs that fall lower on the list.

5. The Champions Dinner Menu
If it were their last meal, that might be newsworthy. But all that whoop-dee-doo over what the defending champ decides to serve for dinner? Rib-eyes! Pad Thai!! Mac and cheese!!! Not everyone can work up the appetite to care.

6. What the Par-3 Tournament Has Become
Granted, little kids in caddie jumpsuits can be pretty cute. But if we wanted to watch Tour pros during family time, we’d follow them to Disney World.

7. The azaleas
Most years they don’t even have the decency to coincide their peak bloom with Masters week. For shame.

8. The elevation changes
We get it, they’re significant, and TV just doesn’t do them justice. But the way the slopes are endlessly harped upon, you’d swear the players are free-soloing El Capitan.

9. “Hello, friends”
Jim Nantz’s patented salutation is a nice enough way to welcome viewers to the telecast, but in the sports catchphrase pantheon, it doesn’t hold a candle to Marv Albert’s “Yessss,” or Keith Jackson’s “Whooooooa, Nellie.” And don’t even get us started on Michael Buffer’s “Let’s get ready to rummmmmmble!”