As we sit on the eve of The Match, we have officially entered the future of sports. Golf fans everywhere can now wager on Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods wagering within their wager. What a time to be alive! There’s plenty that’s uncertain about the outcome of Friday’s two-man showdown, but the patented Dethier golf prop bet system brought you winners as far back as seminal events like the Masters and Tony Romo’s PGA Tour debut. We’re not about to let you down now! Let’s run through some of the best opportunities for you to cash in on Tiger and Phil’s cash-in.
We’ve started with $2,000 in imaginary internet dollars, generously loaned to me by the GOLF.com higher-ups. Let’s see how we can allocate ’em…
Which player will have the most birdies? (From BetDSI)
Phil Mickelson: -120
Tiger Woods: -110
The pick: Tiger Woods (-110). Sure, this seems like a coin-flip. But chances are, whoever makes more birdies is going to win this thing, and Woods -110 is far better than the -200 you have to pay to take him straight up.
The play: $500 to win $454.55
Amount of largest side bet
Over $50,000: -115
Under $50,000: -115
The pick: Over. This is easy money. These fellas are playing for $9 million, after all! They’re going to be throwing down at least $100k bets on the side, and I’d guess at least one will be closer to $500k.
The play: $500 to win $434.78
Total times Tiger twirls his club
Over 3.5: -115
Under 3.5: -115
The pick: This might seem a tad high, but this is a match for entertainment, and the club twirl is Tiger’s signature move. I think we get to five solid twirls. How exactly you measure what’s twirl-worthy is anyone’s guess.
The play: $200 to win $173.91
Will Phil Mickelson record an official three-putt?
Will Tiger Woods record an official three-putt?
The pick: Sprinkle a little on both of these, just to root for the delicious agony of a missed three-foot comebacker.
The play: $50 on each to win $350 and $400, respectively.
To lead after three holes (via Bovada)
Tiger Woods +135
Phil Mickelson +185
The pick: Tie! This seems like the most likely outcome for two relatively equivalent golfers, no? Root for some halves out of the gate.
The play: $200 to win $420
Color of Phil Mickelson’s shirt (Via Oddsshark)
Any other color +400
The pick: Mickelson once said this about wearing black: “Helps me get more aggressive. Studies have shown that when NFL teams wear black they have more penalties.” That may just come down to undisciplined Raiders coaching. But either way, Phil’s going black on Friday. Book it at +250.
The play: $200 to win $500
Color of Tiger Woods’s shirt
Any other color +150
He’s going red and black. I know, it’s not technically Sunday. But it is technically a final round, and he’s made exceptions before, wearing Sunday Red for Monday playoffs. This is a show, folks — nobody’s getting hung up on subtlety.
The play: $300 to win $1050
Okay folks. Now it’s time for the big bonus. Borrow some money from your friends. Apply for a loan. TAKE OUT A MORTGAGE ON YOUR FREAKING HOUSE! This is the bet of a lifetime:
Will there be a hole in one?
The pick: NO! NO! NO there will not be a hole-in-one. The odds are so far off on this it literally boggles the mind. As one reminder, Tiger Woods’s last competitive hole-in-one came at the Sprint International. If that doesn’t sound familiar, that’s because it happened in 1998. Mickelson has one far more recent; a neat 223-yarder at the vaunted 64 Lumber Classic in 2005. I’m not sure what the true odds should be here — one in 500? 1000? more? — but it’s nothing close to this. The only catch is if they set up some sort of funnel-style ace-maker like they do on the last hole of mini-golf courses. But if they do, that’s a heck of a bad beat story, at least…
The play: $9 million to win $900,000
You’ll thank me later. I hope.