Dan Patascher is a 37-year-old teacher at East Stroudsburg South High School in Pennsylvania. But more importantly—and perhaps more proudly—he’s the @angrygolfhulk. The four-year-old account is a monstrous purveyor of unfiltered opinions about the game, digs at Tour players and swing advice, all from a monster who takes crater-sized divots and speaks (or tweets) in ALL CAPS. What’s more? The Hulk is a fitness instructor on the side and has worked with a few LPGA players. That’s right, the Angry Golf Hulk trains golfers. Who woulda thought?
The following is a chat with Dan (the man) and Dan (the Hulk).
Why did you start the account?
DP: I’m a golf fanatic. The advent of twitter, especially with golf, has been groundbreaking. It always seemed like golfers never had any personality, or that nobody knew anything about these guys. My buddy and I were trying to come up with something funny that people would want to read. We thought about a blog, a podcast….neither really worked.
How did name “Angry Golf Hulk” come about?
DP: I was in my youngest son’s room one day and he was playing with a little Hulk action figure, mimicking Hulk and I thought it was funny. He had a toy set of golf clubs; he takes the clubs and pretends like Hulk’s playing, saying things like, “HULK SMASH BALL.” The next day I told my buddy ‘I think I’ve got it.’
And how did it become what it is today?
DP: A couple days after that I had tweeted a few things, and I wake up one morning with like 200 followers. Somebody had retweeted something and it just grew fast. I couldn’t believe that anyone wanted to actually read this stuff.
Is Tiger done? Does the Hulk have any advice for TW?
Hulk: HULK HATE TO SAY IT BUT AT THIS POINT HULK NEED GIVE TIGER TWO A SIDE.
What’s the strategy behind the things you tweet?
DP: I wanted to say things that would be on people’s minds, but that they wouldn’t say. Some of my favorite golfers have blocked me—John Daly, Dustin Johnson, Ian Poulter. I think I’m blocked by the South African Sunshine Tour…not sure why.
Most Tour pros have been really, really cool. Especially the ones with a sense of humor who don’t take themselves too seriously. The guys who realize that, “I go hit a ball around and people love me.”
What’s your favorite course to play?
Hulk: AUGUSTA NATIONAL BECAUSE IT HULK FAVORITE PITCH AND PUTT.
What is your background as a golfer?
DP: I wrestled my whole life and played baseball when I was younger. I never played golf. I worked a summer job at a Carvel ice cream store on Long Island. A lot of the people I worked with had played on a high school team, and they asked me to play golf with them. I said, no, I don’t do that.
Something must have changed along the way…
DP: So they eventually convinced me to go to the range.
We get to the range and my buddy goes in the shop to get golf balls. He comes out and says, “We’re up in 25 minutes.” I said, “You have to wait to hit balls?” They basically tricked me into playing golf. I said I wouldn’t tee off on the first hole in front of people, so we skipped No. 1 and played the rest of the front 9.
From then I was hooked. I needed to know why I couldn’t do this well. I was 18 when I played my first round, and I’m a 4.3 handicap now.
How far do you drive the ball? How’s your short game?
Hulk: HULK STILL WAITING FOR DRIVE TO COME DOWN, HULK LET YOU KNOW ANSWER AS SOON AS IT LAND. WHAT HELL IS SHORT GAME?
What have been some of your most and least favorite interactions through the account?
DP: I’ve exchanged DMs with Gary Player. I forget exactly how this whole thing started. I sent him a message about something and mentioned I’d be at the Masters. This was 2013. He said he’d keep an eye out for me. He finished playing nine holes with George Coetzee and comes over to sign autographs. I said, “Hey Mr. Player, I know you just finished but would you like to have a push-up contest?” The contest didn’t happen—I would have easily won and it’s not good to show up your idols. But it got his attention. He then said sit-ups are better for golf, I agreed. He asked me to punch him in the stomach to prove how strong his core was. I tapped him. Again it’s not a good thing to sucker punch your idols.
Anyway, we chatted for five minutes or so, he said if you’re here next year please come to my BBQ. His son later sent me a message and said if you’ll be here we’d love to have you. Unfortunately I didn’t have tickets the following year.
Ahh too bad. Still a cool exchange. Have you been able to get tournament tickets for the Angry Golf Hulk?
DP: I’ve picked up a few. Tickets were left for me for the 2013 U.S. Women’s Open at Sebonack. I was on vacation in the Hamptons. I had two tickets and I went with my oldest son. We come in Sunday morning and asked for tickets under the name “Dan Patascher.” The girl at will call can’t find anything. She keeps looking and looking…nothing. Then I said, “Can you check under A for Angry?” She looks at me kind of funny. I told her it’s a long story but it might say Angry Golf Hulk, no kidding. She finds a folder with a note saying that his actual name is Dan but the tickets are under Angry Golf Hulk.
The best part of the account has been the opportunities like this. It’s allowed my friends and family who are really into golf to experience these cool interactions as well.
How about your friends…do they know you’re the Angry Golf Hulk?
DP: So in the summer I give lessons at this driving range. One of my friends is a long drive champ in Scranton who has competed nationally. He stumbled upon the account and said to me, “That dude is f—ing funny!” I had posted something on the account, like a photo from a lesson of this guy who was the definition of a digger. He could have played with a backhoe instead of clubs. Anyway, my buddy recognized the driving range we were at and knew it was me. But he’s really the only one who has been behind the curtain.
What was the defining moment of the 2014-15 season?
Hulk: MICHAEL GRELLER WINNING FULL 2016 EXEMPTION FOR TOP 50 MONEY LIST FINISH.