Given the endlessly maddening game we’ve chosen, we golfers must be a crazy bunch. But we’re still not as out-there as some of the nuttiest golf-related inventions. Here are the 12 wackiest, ranked.
12. THE GOLF SWING SHIRT
They call it a shirt. But it feels more like a straightjacket when you slip it on, inserting your arms through a snug-fitting center sleeve that’s designed to keep your arms and body more connected. Never mind that Vijay Singh achieved the same effect by practicing with a towel under each arm. We understand. This game will drive you crazy. You might well start dressing like it.
11. THE ICE BLOCK PUTTER
You’ve heard of the Ghost putter. This putter appears to be wielded by a ghost. It stands on its own so that you can stand behind it to get a better line. Too bad it doesn’t summon the spirit of Billy Casper when it comes time to make the actual stroke.
10. THE SKLZ GYRO SWING
This is the first-ever club equipped with a gyroscopic motor, which whirs and whines like an airplane readying for takeoff. Exactly how that helps your game remains unclear to us. But did we mention? It’s the first-ever club equipped with a gyroscopic motor, which whirs and whines like an airplane readying for takeoff.
9. WIRE PROTECTIVE GOLF SUIT
Woe is the diligent driving range worker, riding around in his range picker, the favorite target of every meathead on the practice tee. But he could have it worse. He could be going about his job on foot, wearing this ridiculous suit.
8. NU-TEES NUDIE GOLF TEES
Just because Muirfield is now admitting women doesn’t mean that chauvinism in golf is dead. It’s alive and well in pro shop sundries like these anatomically correct plastic tees. They can also be used to fix divots, but won’t repair the damage they do to your sensitive-guy reputation.
7. HAMMERX DRIVER
With its hollowed-out head and flattened, knife-edged shaft, the HammerX looks straight, all right. But the most delightful oddity is its infomercial, which includes a rumbling monster truck-style voice over and the cartoonish exclamations of former long-drive champion Jack Hamm. His nickname is The Hammer. It should really be “The Ham.”
6. WEED WHACKER DRIVER
It’s an age-old dilemma: go out and play golf, or stay home and do yard work. This proudly illegal club lets you do both. It’s no longer in production, but when it was, it added a comic element to cheating with a built-in grass trimmer that allowed scofflaws to surreptitiously improve their lies. Or mow their lawns.
5. THE BIG BEERTHA
Inside many an outwardly mature golfer lurks a glazed-eyed frat boy opposed to growing up. For those arrested fellows—and yes, they’re mostly fellows—there’s the Big Beertha, which looks like a driver but works like a beer bong. You pour a 12-ounce brew into the hollowed-out club head, then flip the club over and shotgun your beverage through the grip end. The liquid flows through a clear acrylic shaft, creating a viewing spectacle for those around you, who are likely to be either appalled or impressed.
4. THE AR-15 GOLF BALL LAUNCHER
Some people think golf clubs should be more tightly regulated. Many others feel the same way about guns. Needless to say, they are not the target market for this assault-rifle mounted golf ball launcher, which attaches to the rifle barrel like a silencer. To use it, simply load your weapon with blank ammunition, pack some golf balls in the launcher and fire off shots that fly some 500 yards. Why you’d do this, well, because.
3. POTTY PUTTER TOILET TIME GOLF GAME
Are you disgusted with your game? The next step is to gross out everyone else by telling them you putt and poop at the same time. Such multi-tasking is made possible by this handy kit, which comes with a mini-putting green, a cup with a flag, two golf balls and a “do not disturb” sign for the bathroom door. This is one case where we’d rather not watch you make a deuce.
2. THE DRUTTER
It’s not a driver or a putter. It’s a Drutter. And it’s meant to replace all 14 clubs in your bag. At one end is a Y-shaped prong with an elastic band that functions as a slingshot, which you use to fire your ball from tee to green. And the other end is a putter for, um, Drutting. It’s a hybrid unlike any you’ve ever seen.
1. THE URO-CLUB
In a game bogged down by sluggish play, a quicker, faster way to take relief: a club that doubles as a portable urinal. You unscrew the leak-proof cap, cover yourself up with a “privacy” towel, and go about your business right there on the course. Pretty cool invention. Then again, so is indoor plumbing.