9 things you might overhear at Tiger Woods’ NYC book signing

March 17, 2017

Calling all New York City-based Tiger Woods fans!

The 14-time major champ will be signing his new book, The 1997 Masters: My Story, at the Barnes & Noble in Union Square on Monday beginning at 12:30 p.m. According to the bookstore, “Requests for signatures on memorabilia, book personalizing or photos with Mr. Woods will not be granted. This event will not include a reading, discussion or Q&A.”

Still, you can bet there will be not shortage of buzz. Here are nine things you might overhear when Woods settles in for his signing session.

1. “His signature was so much more impressive under Butch.”

2. Fan: “Curious, Tiger, what’s your favorite Dr. Seuss book?” 

Tiger: “Hmm … probably Horton Hears a Who, or It Is What Is.”

3. “Joey, this pen’s crap. Gimme the Mont Blanc.”

4. Tiger: “Brandel, I didn’t expect to see you here.” 

Chamblee: “Oh … hey, Tiger … I’m actually here for my Ayn Rand book group.”

5. Fan: “Man, T-t-t-t-iger, I had to w-w-w-wait outside for more than two hours in the f-f-f-freezing cold.” 

Tiger: “What can I tell you — it’s a process.

6. Steinberg: “Keep it up. You’re on a 30 book/hour pace.” 

Tiger: “Progressing nicely, Steiny.”

7. “Is this table slanted? I can’t get decent traj on my signature.”

8. “Bet he stalls after 14 books.”

9. Tiger, after having to end the signing early: “Really sorry, guys. It’s just my glutes are shutting off. Then they don’t activate and then it goes into my writing hand.”