Frank the Tank (Old School)
"He'd be thrown off the course after the eighth hole for drunk and disorderly behavior and nude golf."
Buddy the Elf (Elf)
"He'd never get around to actually swinging. He would think the balls were so shiny and pretty that he'd just want to chase them around."
Ron Burgundy (Anchorman)
"A lot of sexual harassment issues with the cart girls, who would not be safe. But he would tell great stories in the clubhouse over many scotches."
James Lipton (Saturday Night Live)
"He would never get off on the first tee he'd be too busy talking about himself and telling insane stories about actors that you didn't care about and had never heard of."
Chazz Michael Michaels (Blades of Glory)
"He's a sex addict, so he'd probably get caught molesting a golf bag."