Saturday, November 01, 2008

Anyone who apprehends the perpetrator of a heinous crime and subsequently beats the crap out of him is, to my mind, worthy of the highest praise.

There has been a serial cut misser on the loose recently on the PGA Tour with the 9th victim being claimed at the recent MCI Classic. Woody finally made the slip that identified him to the authorities.

Golf is a game where you can not only be the culprit but the judge, jury and executioner at the same time, and I am familiar (as I know everyone of you are too) of how it feels to want to kick the living bejesus out of myself for being so head buttingly, bark bitingly, howling-at-the-moon-shortly-after-lunch stupid.

How is it that whilst playing a game which we all profess to enjoy, most of us look frustrated, perplexed and miserable after nearly every shot?

I'm all for sports like ice hockey or Gaelic football, (an organized riot with a soccer ball) and a variation on the Irish national pastime, rioting. The people who play these kinds of games appear to be happy most of the time in a, "He who finishes with the most stitches wins" sort of way.

Personally I think that self flagellation should be allowed within the rules of golf. Ours is a sport that needs the occasional lunatic, a real face in the sea of masks. I mean why should there be a fine for taking a divot out of your own head? Isn't that punishment enough?

And anyway, as any honest man knows, one below the belt is infinitely worse than five to the head. He didn't really mean it.

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