Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Happy New Year, all you putter heads out there! Thank God we're back to serious golf again. All that skills challenge, skins game, senior matchplay, off-season long driving crap is like watching cheese age. It's almost as if there were no golf to watch for a month, we'd all shrivel up and die or something.

I think there should be a season in which golf is not allowed to be shown on television. It should be illegal. While we're about it, the showing of professional basketball on TV should be made permanently illegal, unless the players and the owners agree to take mops and brushes into their hands and for a full season clean up the stadiums after the fans have left. They forget that the only reason that any of them make any money at all, is because we like to watch. What jerks.

Which brings me to my point for today. Yes, yet another irritating jab with the pen into the ribs of the PGA tour. The Mercedes Championships is a huge tournament, and the season opener. So where the hell was everyone? It seemed like no one was watching. It was a serious atmosphere-free zone.

Kapalua is one of my favorite places on earth, but playing golf there has always been too much fun to even think about taking it seriously. It's a place for silly shorts, spiked sandals and drinks with umbrellas in them. Also, the Plantation course is so spread out across the ravines it would be physically impossible to get a gallery around it without the loss of life and limb. There are a couple of cart rides between green and tee that would terrify A.J. Foyt. No, Kapalua is a golf complex best suited for holiday behavior. Having said that, though, surf dude David Duval caught a wave last week, and I doubt if he's ever had a more enjoyable vacation. With the money up for grabs this year, I'm saying either Woods or Duval will win 4 million dollars or more.

Of course, I have been known to be wrong.

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