By Gary Van Sickle
Wednesday, February 18, 2015

The word is out that Davis Love will captain the U.S. Ryder Cup team in 2016.

He'll match wits with Darren Clarke, who was announced as the European captain today after receiving overwhelming support from key players like Rory McIlroy and Ian Poulter.

Love, 50, was captain of the American team at Medinah in 2012, which lost in heartbreaking fashion after a historic European comeback in the final day of the event.

Let’s play 18 and look at the complete list of the people who got passed over for the job:

1. Paul Azinger

Robert Beck/SI

He’s the only American captain who won a Ryder Cup in this century and he won it without Tiger Woods but with Boo Weekley. Yeah, don’t let Zinger anywhere near another Ryder Cup. Good thinking, PGA.

2. Fred Couples

John W. McDonough/SI

The Fredster is 3-0 as a Presidents Cup captain. Guys love hanging with Fred, the ultimate sports fan, but he doesn’t suffer squares and jocksniffers. Which lets out the PGA of America brass who insist on dressing up in team uniforms.

3. Phil Mickelson

Robert Beck/SI

He’s the man with all the answers. There’s a slight chance that his impression of a car bomb at the Ryder Cup press conference at Gleneagles rubbed PGA officials the wrong way. Either that or flying to Scotland on his own jet instead of the team plane.

4. Amy Mickelson

Robert Beck/SI

The only person Phil listens to. Sometimes.

5. Tiger Woods

Kohjiro Kinno/SI

He would’ve told the team the one thing they have to know about the Ryder Cup: It is what it is. It’s a process.

6. Lindsey Vonn

REUTERS/Joshua Roberts

The only person Tiger Woods listens to. Sometimes.

7. Donald Trump

Vincent Laforet

He’s a born leader. Just ask him. He gave Doral a simultaneous face-lift and kick in the ass. He’d run for President, too, except for the part about it interfering with his TV gig and, um, the part about not winning the nomination. And has anyone ever seen his birth certificate?

8. Jeff Sluman

Chris Condon/PGA TOUR

He won a PGA Championship a million years ago, he’s been an assistant captain at the Ryder Cup and at multiple Presidents Cups. Slu has always been popular with fellow players—smart, wry and glib—and he’s made a career out of being underrated and overlooked. You’ve done it again, buddy.

9. David Toms

Getty Images

He’s a shrewd operator who won a PGA by laying up at the 18th hole in Atlanta, then holing a par putt to beat Phil Mickelson. Lay-up? We don’t need no stinking lay-ups.

10. Beyonce
AP/Mark J. Terrill

Not picking Beyonce impugns the dignity and respect that the job of Ryder Cup captain demands. This is a travesty. It must be true. Kanye West just told me.

11. Adam Scott’s baby 

Adam Scott

Kohjiro Kinno/SI

Only the cutest Ryder Cup captain ever.

12. Larry Nelson

AP/Nam Y. Huh

He’s the two-time PGA champion who comes to life in “Night At the Museum” thanks to some Egyptian totem. Except the PGA of America has misplaced said totem. Dang.

13. Bill Belichick

Getty Images

It’s not cheating, it’s just pushing the envelope of the rules to get an edge on the other guy. Isn’t that the fundamental of match play golf? Guys, he’s said all he has to say on this matter.

14. Tom Brady

Al Tielemans/SI

What? Me? Noooooo! I don’t know anything about it!

15. Gary McCord

Robyn Twomey

The CBS analyst is one of the smartest guys in golf despite his comedic façade. The rebel in him would lead to a cryptic team-bonding moment, though, like including bikini wax in the players’ gift bags. He would’ve been the first Ryder Cup captain who ever appeared on “The Lawrence Welk Show.”

16. Bill Clinton

President Bill Clinton 2012 Humana Challenge

Cal Sport Media

Sorry, he’s holding out for the captaincy of the Presidents Cup team.

17. Oprah Winfrey

Peter Kramer/AP

You get a Cup! And you get a Cup! And you get a Cup! And you…

18. Generalissimo Francisco Franco

Time Life Pictures/ Getty Images

Still dead.

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