Just when we thought we'd pegged the year in golf, the 2006 season ricocheted in the other direction like a wayward drive off a corporate tent.
The first half was all Phil Mickelson, but after he played pinball with his Callaway on the 72nd hole of the United States Open, the second half was all Tiger Woods. And for 72 hours during a highly anticipated team event in Ireland, Sergio Garcia was able to do what he has not been able to do over 72 holes, mercilessly beating both of them (and the rest of the U.S. Ryder Cup squad).
Woods lost his father, Ryder Cup teammate Chris DiMarco lost his mother, Darren Clarke lost his wife and golf lost Byron Nelson. Arnold Palmer retired again, Jack Nicklaus didn't play at all and Loren Roberts looked like a living legend.
And depending on the week, so did Stephen Ames, Stuart Appleby, Paul Casey, Luke Donald, Geoff Ogilvy, Trevor Immelman, Adam Scott and, least likely of all, Chris Couch.
Herewith, the season's highlights and lowlights.
Thanks, but I'm stuffed after the grilled bunions
Jay Haas divulged in an interview with GOLF Magazine that his favorite meal is fried chicken gizzards.
But if she ever goes blue, she'll know who to call
In its Ryder Cup preview issue, the Dubliner magazine printed photos of a topless woman who the magazine claimed was Elin Nordegren under the headline, "Ryder Cup filth for Ireland." Sadly, the woman in question wasn't Mrs. Tiger Woods or even her twin sister.
He had no special feeling about tomorrow
And John lacked his usual quickness after the bucket old wings
Sure, but it does help me to see better
Plus, I get to use my assistant Borat however I want
Yes, we saw his ink. Or did we?
Live by the double ...
Must have been 'Lead' deficiency
Which pretty much summed up her year on the PGA Tour
But his press conference was considerably shorter
Christmas in March: Priceless
Anything to make Greg Owen feel better
Aged Wisconsin cheddar
Where if the recent history of four-time All-Americans is any indication, he'll be subjected to all manner of indignities
We'll let you know this time next year