As the super-rich say, "It's not the size of the boat, it's where you park it."
Unless you park it right next to your ex's new boyfriend's boat. Then, we can't help you. According to TMZ, that's what happened to Tiger Woods on Monday -- the same day he and Lindsey Vonn went Facebook-official with their much rumored romance -- when Woods docked his yacht (pictured) right next to the craft of Chris Cline, the 54-year-old billionare coal magnate who, as the New York Post reported, happens to be dating Elin Nordegren, Tiger's ex-wife.
So, Tiger threw himself on the mercy of the measuring tape -- and came up short. By nine feet. The winner: Cline's "Mine Games" over Wood's "Privacy," 164 ft. to 155 ft.
Taken together, the two five-bedroom boats are bigger than a football field, so they're not even that close. But still, point Cline. Not just for length, but also for that name. "Mine Games" purportedly refers to the source of his wealth, but come on. Tiger's plea "Privacy" always seemed a little ... inapt. Also, according to The Daily Mail, his boat has a submarine, which has long been a trump card here on the blog. If you own a submarine, and you are a person, and not a country, then you have our attention. For a full tale-of-the-tape, follow the link to the Daily Mail's Rundown.
Woods will try to avenge this "defeat" Thursday, when he tees off at Bay Hill in the Arnold Palmer Invitational, a tournament he's won seven times. Shrug it off, kid: That's seven more than Chris Cline. RELATED: See Photos of Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn (Photo: Rick Silva / AP)