Fill the blank: Tiger Woods giving Charles Barkley a golf lesson is like _______________.
Michelangelo teaching a fourth-grade art class? Emeril heating up a
can of Chef Boyardee? Herbert Warren Wind helping me write a golf
Well, on Tuesday, Barkley, owner of one of the game's most ugly swings,
got some driving-range tips from Woods, who owns one of the smoothest. Appearing on Dan Patrick's radio show Wednesday morning (and sounding
like the show was way too early for him), Barkley said that he's been
working on his game with Woods and instructor Hank Haney. The garrulous Barkley was surprisingly circumspect about it though.
"I'm not a name-dropping guy, Dan," Barkley said before admitting he
got some help from Woods and Haney. "[Woods] and Hank worked with me.
Hank has spent hours and hours and hours working on my swing and I
don't ever want to take their friendship for granted."
Patrick worked Barkley over for some more Woods nuggets and got some
good stuff. We learned 1. Barkley gets a stroke a hole when he plays
Woods. ("It should be more but no self-respecting man can ask for more
than one stroke a hole.") 2. He and Woods will bet on golf, but never
for serious money. ("It's Monopoly money.") 3. Woods and Michael Jordan
have the same competitive fire. ("They are far and away the two most
competitive guys I've ever met in my entire life.")
But trash-talking is no contest. Jordan wins it hands-down.
"No one talks trash better than Michael Jordan in the history of
society," Barkley said. How good is Jordan? When Barkley
is lining up a big putt, Jordan will say, "He can't make this. He never
won anything."Follow Michael Walker Jr. on Twitter