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Tiger's BFF heads home, media distraught

SOUTHPORT, England — A sense of despair settled on the media center at Royal Birkdale today when Mark O'Meara, whose status as a former Open champion was overshadowed by his role as Tiger Woods' Best Friend Forever, missed the cut.
O'Meara's second-round 77 means the 1998 winner is looking at an early flight home, while the press is looking at lots of empty space now that their only source of Tiger-related information is gone. It is believed that some of the tabloid press in Britain might now actually be forced to simply make up stories about the absent world No. 1.

"I'm not a real happy camper right now," O'Meara said, politely echoing the sentiment in the press room.
Some disgruntled hacks suggested that O'Meara deliberately played his last nine holes in six-over-par on the orders of Woods, who is said to have been infuriated by O'Meara's revelation that he is watching the Open coverage at home in Orlando. O'Meara denied the allegation.
"I just started making bogeys," he said.

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by Kevin Cunningham