JANUARY
Mr. Mickelson, your Kia is parked in E-34
PGA Tour players got their first indication that the troubled economy could affect their gilded existence when courtesy cars are no longer offered at the Farmers Insurance Open at Torrey Pines.
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Maybe she meant the way-background
Natalie Gulbis had a blonde moment when posting a photo of her and Michelle Wie on the Capitol steps on Twitter. "Michelle and I with Lincoln Memorial in background." The typo was picked up by her Twitter followers and sports blogs. Gulbis had a sense of humor about it, though. She later tweeted, "Oops! Washington Memorial! typed before mind caught up. Sorry!" and "Yes I am blonde."
Police are searching for a suspect in a green jacket
CBS Sports funnyman and Augusta National persona non grata Gary McCord appeared on an episode of CSI, although he didn't fulfill his longtime ambition of playing a corpse on the show. Producers did ask if Michael Campbell's career was available.
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FEBRUARY
He's crying on the inside
Tour funnyman Paul Goydos was leading the AT&T Pebble Beach on Sunday until he made a quadruple-bogey 9 on the 14th hole. Goydos, who remarkably kept his rueful sense of humor after his round, wasn't the only one bitten by Pebble's treacherous 14th. Bryce Molder made 9 in the group right before him. "I know. I had to wait." Goydos said. "I saw 18 (bad) shots." Dustin Johnson ended up winning the tournament.
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The free buffet is another story
The Golf Writers Association of America boycotted Tiger Woods's public apology at TPC Sawgrass in Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla., after Tiger's camp attempted to restrict the number of reporters present and not allow questions. Tiger Woods Inc. got its revenge when media members covering Tiger's apology via closed-circuit TV at Sawgrass were charged between $100 and $250 for Internet access.
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MARCH
Abe Lincoln could not be reached for comment
Golf Digest retracted its claim that President Obama and President Clinton had each called Tiger Woods during his scandal to offer support. The White House denied that Obama had any contact with Woods, while Clinton said that he only "wished him well" during a call that Woods made to Clinton on an unrelated matter.
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Harrington gets his Irish up
At the WGC-CA Championship in Miami, Fla., a reporter asked Padraig Harrington, "If you should win here, would that be a triumph for Ireland or for the British people?"
The proud son of Dublin responded, "You know, obviously if you're -- by asking that question, you haven't shown very much insight into anything, so I'll let you go do the homework on it. That would be like if a Canadian won here, would it be a triumph for the Americans or the Canadians? If a South American won here, would it be a triumph -- it would be the same thing. I'm not from Britain. I'm Irish. I think you want to talk that to maybe one of the guys from Northern Ireland. I'm from the other side of the Republic: Green, white and orange."
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Where is Wikileaks when you need them?
Gary Smits of The Florida Times-Union unearthed the PGA Tour's confidential personnel file on John Daly, which is 456 pages long and covers 18 years, five suspensions and more than $100,000 in fines. Daly responded by publishing Smits's home phone number on Twitter and encouraging his followers to call Smits and complain.
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APRIL
The worst thing that's happened to socks since Pets.com
Style icon Freddie Couples showed up for the 2010 Masters in spikeless shoes and no socks.
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Personally we like a good Tiger Woods press conference transcript
Rory Sabbatini criticized The Golf Channel's telecasts during a mandatory players meeting before Quail Hollow, according to golf blog WeiUnderPar. "When I want to take a nap, I turn on the Golf Channel," Sabbatini said.
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It's next on his reading list after The Caine Mutiny
Victorious 2008 Ryder Cup captain Paul Azinger published Cracking the Code, a book that explains how he created a winning atmosphere around the American team at Valhalla, and sent a copy to 2010 U.S. captain Corey Pavin.
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MAY
Maybe they were the irons Tiger brought to Denny's for a Grand Slam breakfast
Ebay pulled a set of irons purported to be from Tiger Woods's grand slam season (2000-2001) after Woods denied the irons were from those tournaments.
According to The Associated Press, Steve Mata, a former Titleist representative who worked with Woods when he swept the majors, said Woods gave him the irons during the 2001 Buick Classic in New York when it was time to change out the grooves. Mata eventually sold the irons for $57,242.40, far less than the $250,000 he originally sought, and he still insisted the irons are from that season.
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What he really needed was a driving-range finder
Jerry Rice was DQ'd from a Nationwide Tour event because his caddie used a range finder during the second round of the BMW Charity Pro-Am in Mill Ridge, N.C. However, Rice was not another of 2010's Rules victims. He shot 92 in his first round.
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This is going to hurt me more than it hurts me
Japan's Yuko Mitsuka banned herself from 11 events after storming off the course because of a two-stroke penalty during a Japanese LPGA event.
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JUNE
Stewart Cink's charity event way kinkier than you might think
Zach Johnson tweeted this photo from Stewart Cink's charity event with the following explanation: R u kidding me?! Stew Cink, @stewartcink, in a jock strap with a tee and golf ball on his crotch!
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His caddie didn't sign on for this
The Irish Independent reported that Padraig Harrington examines his urine as part of his fitness routing: "Every day, Harrington will use a hand-held refractometer to determine if he is properly hydrated. He simply places a drop of urine on the prism and forwards the results to his health and fitness specialist Dr Liam Hennessy for analysis."
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New worlds to conquer (or something like that)
Fan favorite Mark Calcavecchia turned 50 on June 12 and immediately joined the Champions Tour. "It's a great change of pace," he said. "New courses, new towns, new holes to screw up. I'm tried of screwing up the same holes every year."
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JULY
Cheech was in the wrong golf movie
PGA Tour golfer Matt Every, 26, teed off in his first round at the John Deere Classic in Sivlis, Ill., two days after he was charged with possession of a controlled substance (marijuana) at the Island Casino Hotel Bettendorf in nearby Bettendorf, Iowa.
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Stanford University, only $50,576 per year
Asked at a press conference if she was Phi Beta Kappa, Michelle Wie responded, "No sorority for me yet, but it's been fun. It's been a lot of fun." She later tweeted, "sooooo i just found out phi beta kappa is an academic society NOT a sorority...oops."
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You'll never believe it, but he was from Australia
A fan at the British Open didn't believe the prickly gorse bushes surrounding the course were all that sharp, so he grabbed some branches in a clenched fist — then let out a scream.
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She thought the Louvre was nice
Morgan Pressel dropped some f-bombs at the Evian Masters in France when fans wouldn't stop taking pictures as she attempted a bunker shot. "Are you kidding?! It's like a f---ing circus," she said. (Link via WeiUnderPar.com)
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Kevin Kolb was available
Michael Vick missed his own golf tournament at Heritage Golf Links in Tucker, Ga., according to The Associated Press.
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Amy adapted quickly to the culture of drinking and smoking
The Sun UK reported that singer Amy Winehouse had taken up golf.
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They call him The Shark, not The Porpoise
Greg Norman's golf course design company did not make severance payments to laid-off workers when it closed its Australian office this year, The Australian Herald Sun reported.
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AUGUST
Followers of the Prince of Darkness get 20 percent off greens fees
Ken Downing, lead guitarist for the band Judas Priest, announced that his first course design will open in the fall. (Link Via The Shropshire Star)
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You mean it wasn't sales of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo?
"Traders at Citigroup cheekily suggested that Tiger Woods's divorce settlement could have been the trigger behind a runup in the Swedish krona," The Wall Street Journal reported.
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Corey, you're no Pete Rose
Golf Channel reporter Jim Gray and U.S. Ryder Cup captain Corey Pavin had a heated exchange at the PGA Championship media center at Whistling Straits. Gray had reported that Pavin said Tiger Woods was going to be a captain's pick if he didn't qualify for the team, but Pavin denied the report. "You're going down," Gray told Pavin as the two men got in each other's faces. In the end, Woods was a captain's pick for the Ryder Cup team.
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The caddie then replied, "Do you have anyone better?"
When LPGA player Dina Ammaccapane saw 5'3 Cameron Kiyokawa, her assigned caddie at the Safeway Classic, she said, "Do you have anyone bigger?" Kiyokawa later received an apology from the LPGA.
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It was funnier when it happened to Jean-Paul Jean-Paul
Jim Furyk was disqualified from the Barclays Tournament when he missed his pro-am tee time by five minutes. The culprit? His cell phone alarm, which lost power while he was sleeping.
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SEPTEMBER
The most passionate romance on Tour is between Camilo and himself
Pro golfer and fitness fanatic Camilo Villegas appeared naked in ESPN: The Magazine.
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But wasn't he taking a spot from a more deserving player?
Sergio Garcia made his pro soccer debut for Borriol, a third-division Spanish club. Garcia is president of the club.
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Put on a rainsuit or something
Lisa Pavin, wife of U.S. Ryder Cup captain Corey Pavin, appeared on the cover of Avid Golfer magazine dressed only in a red, white and blue sheet. Lisa was later criticized for choosing Team USA's ineffective rainsuits during their Ryder Cup loss.
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OCTOBER
He's now in a support group with Obama Girl and the Dancing Baby
Internet sensation and Ryder Cup breakout star Cigar Guy, the mustachioed, cigar chomping, Miguel Angel Jimenez wannabe, turned out to be Rupesh Shingadia, a 30-year-old investment analyst from London.
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Maybe he meant his guitar
"I played better when I was drunk," a rueful John Daly told fans at a North Carolina book signing. Later in the year, Daly said he putted better when he had love handles.
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Dustin Johnson feels your pain
Massachusetts high school golfer Matt Carville was disqualified from the state playoffs for listening to his iPod during his round. The Rules of Golf allow you to listen to music during your round, but a local rule at the event prohibited it.
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November
Five Guys Soy Free Faux Meat Replacement doesn't sound as tasty
Phil Mickelson had second thoughts about becoming a vegetarian.
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He must have used up all his genius at the Ryder Cup
Colin Montgomerie cost himself a chance to win $1.28 million at the Mission Hills Star Trophy in China when his caddie and a marshal moved an advertising sign in violation of a local rule, a two-shot penalty.
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At least he didn't have to buy it an extra seat
Cathay Pacific Airline charged Graeme McDowell an excess-baggage fee for bringing the U.S. Open trophy with him to Asia.
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DECEMBER
That's one more endorsement than Tiger got in 2010
David Duval announced his latest sponsor, Perky Jerky, a caffeinated jerky snack, which was created when someone accidentally spilled an energy drink on a bag of beef jerky, according to perkyjerky.com.
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He can still get down from there
Pilot Richard Hammerschlag safely landed his damaged plane on Cresta Verde Golf Club course in Corona, Calif., but when he turned to avoid the sixth green he crashed into a bunker.
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Dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb-DUMB!
How do you know when a story is truly over? When it becomes an episode of Law & Order. (Producers said any connection between the show's plot of a wife who hits her philandering husband with a golf club and Tiger Woods was purely coincidental.) Here's to new beginnings, new stories and new adventures in 2011. Happy Holidays, everybody!
