David Feherty: The Incredible Expanding Ferret
Yes, me, folks. I started the year a svelte 185 pounds, and despite riding more than 200 miles a week on my bicycle, as I sit writing I am now compressing my stool at a staggering 217 pounds of something less than rock-hard manhood. She Who Must Be Obeyed says I am like a jackass from the waist down and the neck up, with Rosie O'Donnell's middle bits. That woman is a hoot. She Who Must Be Obeyed, that is.