Brian Gay: The Gay Ferret
Who's the only player so good that when he's on he might be unbeatable, even by you-know-who, and so deserves an eponymous Ferret? That's right, Brian Gay. He is the best player hardly ever mentioned when people are talking about great players, and he has the ability to block out the world and play his own technically superb game and win by shocking margins. Also, his wife, Kimberly (who, if you think about it, is his Gay lover), is a doll.