A tough one here. Bubba Watson excelled in the golf equivalent of road rage and general homicidal attitude, but Boo Weekley gets by him due to the quality of his play, the fact that he's as funny as Larry the Cable Guy, and that the Ryder Cup interfered with his dove-hunting season.
Also, his consumption of chewing tobacco was enough to make the entire population of China blow chunks, which is a magnificent achievement, considering the air they have to breathe.
STUPIDEST COMMENT FERRET
Bobby Clampett, at the
Wyndham Championship,
who said, "The wind is
blowing from 10 past three,"
which reduced the rest of
the CBS crew to stunned
silence and locked up
Gary McCord's brain for
almost an hour.
IDIOT FERRET
A tie between Clampett
and McCord. Too many
instances to include.
ABE LINCOLN FERRET (Most honest)
Homo Erectile Division: On the final nine at the
Zurich in New Orleans,
Woody Austin hurled
all over his shirt, which
fortunately was so awful
that no one noticed the
stains. Woodrow might be
totally unspooled at times,
but if he screws up he will
always put his hand in the
air afterward.
Amateur Division: The young amateur Michael Thompson, who called a penalty on himself on his way to the medal at the Masters. No one other than Thompson could have known about the infraction (his ball moved slightly as he addressed a birdie putt on the 15th green), and in calling it he gave away possibly the most precious prize in the amateur game. In my book, that's a sporting hero.
GLACIER FERRET (Slowest player)
Ziggy, my beagle. Dear
god, unless there's a
rabbit involved it's
like watching the
Westminster Dog Show
on the Konica Minolta
Bizhub Swingvision
camera. It takes him
15 minutes to snap off a
link, and the last bird
he picked up was
Kentucky Fried, off the
floor of my F-150.
SCARLET BLISTER FERRET (Most psychotic range rat)
Vijay Singh removed more
acreage than the next closest
player owns in real estate.
DID THE MOST FOR THE GAME FERRET
Me. Again because I never
hit a shot.
DENTED SOFA FERRET (Least practice)
As ever, Carlos Franco,
who got so winded after his
first practice swing that he
had to sit down for the first
six weeks of the season.
FUNNIEST LINE FERRET
Colin Montgomerie. I
have no idea what it was,
but I guarantee he wasn't
trying to be funny.
FUNNIEST MOMENT FERRET
Vijay Singh winning the
FedEx Cup by finishing
T44 at the BMW, before
the Tour Championship
was even played. Cracked
me up it did.
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