Dear David Feherty:
For years now I have thought that Rory Sabbatini resembled a hobbit. Kind of a freaky-looking, bizarre-acting creature. I know that you and other commentators on Tour have a knack for bestowing nicknames on Tour players. If anyone could appropriately call Rory Sabbatini a hobbit, I feel it would be you. And I mean that in a good way. In any event, I just wanted to get this out there for your consideration. — Mark Aumann
Mark:
If you're looking for a freaky-looking, bizarre-acting creature, you need look no further than Bobby Clampett. J.R.R. Tolkien modeled the Hobbits after Bobby. They met at a convention for the Terminally, Incomprehensibly, Totally Bewildered Half-Wits where Bobby was the keynote speaker. Compared to Clampett, Sabbatini is the voice of reason; a calm, sensible, reassuring dose of understated, rock-solid mother's milk.
Besides, I've sort of unofficially tagged Sabbatini with "Yosemite Sam." Since I don't think he knows who that is, my chances of getting him to talk to me after a bad round are a lot better.
Hi David,
I would love to see you write a column about nothing but the funny golf sayings you have come up over the years. You and McCord crack me up. My favorite was when a player hit such a bad shot into the trees you said Lassie couldn't find the ball if it was wrapped in bacon. — Tommy (The left-handed chop in Denver)
Tommy The Left Handed Chop:
I don't want to know any more about that name. You have a good idea there, my boy. The only problem might be that McCord can neither read nor write. I basically have written everything funny that he's ever published. And he's never paid me a cent. So if I write a book, it'll be by me. And by the way, just so you know, all of McCord's lines come from somewhere else. His next original thought will be his first one.
Feherty,
Where do you party during Masters week? — Doug
Doug:
At the Home for the Perpetually Incontinent on Washington Ave. Meet me there, Doug. You sound interesting.
If you have a question for David Feherty, e-mail him at feherty@golf.com
