Grow Your Own Mc-Tache

1. Grow it. "I grew it for one reason: television. I wasn't on much. I was sitting there looking at it one day and I said, 'Wow, I gotta come up with something. When they see that, they don't know who in the hell you are, they just think: 'Who's the idiot with that mustache?' I knew Rollie Fingers and I had a Fu Manchu, and Rollie and I played golf one day. It was early in the morning, we were going to breakfast and he hadn't waxed his mustache or anything. I said, "'How do you get that?'"

2. Tame it. McCord uses Clubman. "It's a wax you buy at Walgreen's."

3. Coif it, using a brush and your fingers. "It takes two seconds. Goes right up. At night, I brush it out so it's a big old thing hanging around. I'm like a woman."