Unless you've been living on the desert planet Tatooine, you know that here on Earth we're bracing for the premiere of "Star Wars: The Force Awakens," the seventh installation of a blockbuster movie franchise valued at more than $30 billion. In the 38 years since the first Star Wars was released, the story of an intergalactic struggle with fraught Oedipal undertones has seeped into nearly every corner of popular and commercial culture: toys, books, video games, DVDs, and on. Even golf is not immune. In honor of this week's big cinematic release, we offer you our Jedi-like guidance on how to get more Stars Wars into your game.
CUSTOMIZE YOUR WEDGES
Short of a real lightsaber, there aren’t many cooler items for a Star Wars geek to wield. Courtesy of custom work by Golf Alchemy, these wedges come engraved with an image of the Death Star and an X-wing fighter on the back, and a familiar pair of adversaries on the front. If your opponent strikes you down, you may not come back stronger than ever. But at least you can hit your next pitch shot close. Buy here.
New headcovers, need you? Designed for 460cc drivers, these come in the likeness of Chewbacca, a Stormtrooper, R2-D2, Darth Vader, and, yep, that syntax-mangling sage called Yoda. Buy here.
USE THE FORCE . . TO IMPROVE YOUR PUTTING
A long time ago, in the same galaxy where we live today, SpikeTV produced a promotional video declaring itself the “new home” for network showings of Star Wars videos. In this snippet, which endures on YouTube, Vader reveals a Jedi master’s secret to draining putts.
BUY A MOVIE-THEMED BALL MARKER
Given the marketing power of the movie franchise, no item is too small to merchandise. Witness these one-inch-in-diameter Star Wars-themed ball markers, with a protective enamel coating over their design. Buy here.
WATCH EMPEROR ELDRICK IN ACTION
Even the most ardent Tiger-haters might not go so far as to cast Woods as an evil Star Wars emperor. But that didn’t stop the BBC in 2011, when it put out what must rank as the cheesiest Masters promo of all time. Warning: the production quality is only slightly better than a hologram beamed from a droid.
CHECK OUT IMAGES OF A SOLO FLIGHT
As he proved when he emerged from cryogenic freezing, Han Solo has a knack for survival. So, apparently, does the guy who plays him. The aircraft pictured here is not the Millennium Falcon. It’s a World War II-era single engine airplane, and Harrison Ford, then 72, crashed it on a Santa Monica golf course in March of this year. He was rescued from the wreckage, having suffered several broken bones. (image of Harrison Ford crashing airplane)
DRESS LIKE THE MAN IN BLACK
Sure, Gary Player is a lot more pleasant, but he and Darth Vader share a similar fashion sense. You can pay homage to them both at once by donning this black cotton polo, which features an embroidered Star Wars logo and an image of Luke’s father on the chest. Buy here.
TRACK DOWN THESE BAGS
You could scour the entire interstellar system and not come across these elusive Bridgestone golf bags, their shape and color scheme evocative of two iconic characters: Darth Vader and a Stormtrooper. Keep your eye on eBay, though, and you might find them. They fetched about $500 when they were first released in 2008.